ayoko na.

hmp. hopeless. barbar.

oo na. feeling ko ngayon, more than that. kung pwede nga lang talagang ako na magbaba ng programa e.

pero masyado akong:
ma-pride.
duwag.
takot sa rejection.

madaming "what ifs"...

palagi na lang ganito ang istorya. kung pwede lang ako na lang ang maging direktor.. ako na talaga.

sabi nga nun lektib ko: "no to asa, yes to kilig only."

amd it's effing hard. demmit.

xoxo,
pem

whoa. i think i really am not immune to change. heck, i really am changing.
walking alone in a mall, just loitering around, wasting my time..
then i found myself busy looking for a perfect pair of girly shoes.. or a girly sandal.. or a girly blouse.. and make-ups.
for that second of my life, i think i want to kill myself.
what with my endless struggle of nonconforming, and as much as possible, abstaining a consumer-driven life, and being just me, not dressing too much to impress the crowd...blah blah blah.
then here i am, thinking if that dress would fit me, if this shoes would look good on my feet, if they would like me wearing this jeans, and so on..
damn, what's happening to me?
can anyone please just kill me in case i show any of these disturbing behavior once again?
i'd like to think that if ever i would change, i would change for the better. i never thought it's possible for me to change for the worst. darn it.
got to do something. from now on, i'll start reading something useful again soon.

sakit nun ha.

sabagay, i shouldn't have expected anything in the first place.. it's so damn obvious that you're trying to shut me out. that you're pushing me out of your life. fine. if that's what you want. then i'll leave you alone. i'll effing leave you alone. you know, you should have just said it straight.. no pantomimes and subtle hints--that is so effing rude of you.

a cup of coffee and a bar of rocky road fudge is just not enough..

a long conversation with my buddy isn't enough too.

what i want is for you to speak up. to tell me where i effing stand in your life.

i know i shouldn't have trusted you. i shouldn't have put my defenses down. i shouldn't...aaah, too late.

too little, too late.

tama na. isang tao lang ang pwede kong iyakan. at hindi ikaw yun.

you'll never be.

figlio di puttana, pezzo di merda

lack of sleep. first day. second sem. 3pm class. new block section. new environment. adjustment period. ace form. wrong sched. commute from ortigas to pureza...

these things are scarier than i thought.. creepier. it's now taking form. damn it.

pwede bang i-fast forward sa future ang lahat? rawr. more caffeine please.

oh, why do i have to experience all these stuffs ALL AT ONCE?

part of the PMS? i don't think so. more of a cosmic sabotage part..